Reflection

I know all the blog posts I’ve written so far have been essentially about the incredible things I’ve been fortunate enough to get to experience in my short time here in Cape Town, but after 3 weeks I think it’s finally time for some serious reflection on what I’ve been learning here. Every day I learn something new, whether it be about myself, my country, my life, or the state of the world I live in. Each and every experience has provoked an internal dialogue, and it’s time to put my thoughts into words.

I’ve noticed that I’m way more comfortable spending my money on things because I convert the Rand value back into my head as dollars, and say “oh well it’s not that much, so it’s okay.” In fact, I’ve caught myself saying to people who are debating purchasing something “it doesn’t matter, its just Rand”. That’s a very scary thought. Though many things are cheaper here, it shouldn’t come across my mean that that’s a justifiable reason to have something. I’m starting now to make a concerted effort to think about things not in terms of dollars but in terms of Rand. Hopefully that will make my budget balancing a little bit easier too.

Complaining is another of my major problems. I will be the first to admit that I always want more and better, and don’t hesitate to complain about my supposed problems. Today I was on a line for lunch with my friend Lindsay, and I was so jealous that she had a TV in her house, knowing how often I have complained about not being able to watch my TV whenever I want. TV shouldn’t be a priority; I’m here for school and a cultural experience, not to watch American reality shows. I also complain a lot about my walk to school. Though it is not the most appealing thing to walk up a mountain to get to my classes, I need to take a step back and really appreciate the beauty of the area and the University of Cape Town itself. It’s not in the cards for everyone to get to see Table Mountain looming above, with clouds zipping post Devil’s Peak, every morning. On the way back down, I get to see the beautiful Southern Suburbs of Cape Town in front of me. And yet I still complain about the distance and the elevation change.

Perhaps the thing that has stood out to me most about myself is my reliance on the Internet. Whether it is having the instant answer from Wikipedia on my BlackBerry to vegging out and checking Facebook in between each of my classes (which, I admit, I’m still a little guilty of), the Internet plays a very large role in my life. Now, to know that I have to pay for Internet access, and to actually see the number of purchased Internet credits dwindling every time I click on a new page has forced me to really reform my habits. I now only open one tab at a time, and finish everything I need to do on that site before moving on to another. I can’t even imagine what it’s going to be like once I have to start writing papers and doing research, because I am constantly sifting back and forth between documents that I will now have to use Internet credit to download.

Social life in South Africa is also very different than in the US. I’ve noticed that people here are significantly nicer, friendlier, and more willing to accept a new person’s friendship, even if it’s just chatting with someone on line or at a bar or in class. I don’t know why it is that I have felt the need back home and at school to put on a “don’t talk to me” front. I am (I hope) a genuinely nice and well-meaning person, so I hope to catch some of that openness from my time here in Cape Town.

Perhaps most importantly of all, safety has been a huge wake up call for me. I am so comfortable in the places I’ve come to call home that I’ve never truly felt unsafe. South Africa has changed all that. I keep my wallet, keys, and phone in my front pocket almost all the time for fear that someone will pickpocket me. I’m afraid to leave my door unlocked for fear that someone can get into my house. I’m afraid whenever someone walks behind me for fear that they are going to do something bad to me. It’s an incredible luxury to have come from a place where you don’t have to be this aware of your surroundings at all times. I think I will certainly learn a lot from being here, knowing that there are places where people do have to live this way, and I can count my blessings that I am not one of them.

Finally, my close-minded view of race is something that has radically shifted from coming to Africa. Race is not a hush-hush topic in South Africa the way that it is back in America, which is fortunate for me because I am able to really learn why this is the Rainbow Nation. Perhaps the change I’ve noticed most since coming to South Africa is that I’m no longer hesitant around black people. Back at home, I’ve often felt, for whatever reason, slightly uncomfortable around black people, and much more so when in a group where I am the minority. I don’t at all feel that way now. In fact, I’ve noticed myself becoming bothered when I’m in places where there are mostly white people, because it makes me question whether or not the place or the group of people are racist. That is a positive step towards breaking down my unfortunate past vision of race in America.

This actually may even have been my shortest blog post yet, but it’s definitely an important one for me. I know I have a long swath of time ahead of me in Cape Town, and I can’t wait to see how much more I’m going to learn while I’m here.